


A letter to you

by justyouwaitforit



Category: Original Work
Genre: a letter to my ex-friend, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 13:55:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyouwaitforit/pseuds/justyouwaitforit
Summary: "Why" I askeda letter and some questions to an old friend





	A letter to you

“Why?” I asked as she put me back together  
“Because you looked lonely” she said, swinging on the old rusty swing

Her laughter filled the air as I commented on the hair of the girl we both hated

“Why?” I asked as she set me aflame  
“Because you’re my best friend, silly” she laughed, as I tried to process her request of a playdate

She pouted as I declared that all my friends were my best friends (What friends? I whispered turning the charm she gave me over and over, rescued from where I threw it in a fit of rage. The words engraved mocking me)

“Why?” I asked as she gossiped with a cluster of girls lead by the girl we both hated.  
She didn’t even notice me as I sat a table away, stuck in a memory from a few weeks ago.

(“They told me how much they hated you” she said, hidden in the sprawling play centre as we sat together, one of my hands on hers, the other holding a tissue to my still runny nose “I could only agree, I’m sorry, how could they think I would say such things about my best friend? (It took me ages to figure out why all I could feel was betrayal towards those once treasured words) “I hate them all (Her complaints of them filled my head, while my body comforted her on auto-pilot, betrayal made way for another confusing feeling (If you feel this way about them, what about me-do you hate me)) “Especially her, I mean, you only have to look at her hair to tell!”)

“Why?” I asked, eons later, curled around memories of her, while she celebrated her birthday surrounded by the ‘friends’ she ‘hated’ 

(You’re my best friend but mums put a limit and I want to spend some time with some new friends, (She didn’t come, she was the only one absent from the swim centre on that day) You understand, right?” “Yeah, it’s fine,” (It’s not-don’t leave me behind))

So, one last time, I ask you this-why. Why did you put me together, that small, quiet girl who read stories meant for someone ten times her age, who’s whispers where lost in the clamour of the room, why did you come to me that recess and drag me to that playground?

Why did you invite me to your house, and let me be part of a family, invite me to a place I loved more than anything?

Why did you join those girls we both hated as I followed, only there because of you? Why did you make me feel, for the first time since before the playground, lonely?

Why did you abandon me, leave me even more shattered than before?

If I came up to you again would you accept me-my hair I hid behind cut short, dresses replaced with pants and tops, with new pronouns, a new name, a new person, with a list of disorders and self-inflicted scars scattered on my skin. Would you still want to be my friend?

 

And finally, my dearest Mia, I ask you this-why do still hold a piece of my heart?

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr-https://justyouwaiforit.tumblr.com/


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